|| Audio ~ Blood ||

Wed, 21 May 2008 06:25:40 GMT

i don't like when things are like this...

Fri, 16 May 2008 06:29:22 GMT

fuck people!!! they are so fucking selfish and should fucking just shut up!!!

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 08:01:43 GMT

so much weird shit has been happening all over in my life in these past few months. hard to believe my life without him, it feels like i've known him forever and not just for a little over 6 months with over half of that spent dating him (i am counting the time we were broken up for a month because nothing really changed...) i can't even remember that girl i used to be, to me she seems like some other person who was so lost looking for that one thing she wanted. all i ever wanted was to know that someone cared about me TRULY cared about me. yea i know my friends "cared" about me, but a lot of them just did when it was convienient for them, and some of them still do (the ones i didn't get rid of at least) but once he came along, it all just seemed to click. the moment i first saw him on that bus i just felt instantly drawn to him and like i had nothing to worry about, nothing to fear.

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 23:40:04 GMT

so i was incredibly happy yesterday!!! for one the silly boy made a decision and.. HE CHOSE ME!!!! wooo!!! when i asked him why he said he really wanted to get back together with me and that we were getting along better in that sense and something just told him to pick me. and to that i say to the whore HA! YOU LOSE!!!! and then later on that night i got a letter saying that i got into sf state which i pretty much knew i was going to get into but still i am headed for college. woo!

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 05:45:22 GMT

so i got a new cell phone which made me really happy especially since my cell phone like died last night... then some other little things and then kirsten and lloyd came and visited for a little bit and now i'm talking to him on the phone and he keeps calling me darling and sweetie

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 20:26:14 GMT

ok so certain people are pissing me off with trying to tell me how to handle this situation... and its really stupid because some of them haven't even been in a relationship so who the fuck gave them the right to tell me what to do?! its my own damn life let me run it the way that oh i dont know I WANT TO RUN IT! if i end up getting hurt or something then it'll be my fault, but dont tell me what to do.

wooo i'm happy!!!

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 07:45:49 GMT

who needs to study for physics tests?!?!!

I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY AND I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY!!!!! WOOOO!!!

but i went on a walk today and i just started thinking about things and i just got this weird feeling in my gut that everything was going to be alright between me and him, and that it would work out in my favor and that i have nothing to worry about. so then i got happy. then to add to the happiness factor i was listening to the matches so i just got this huge grin on my face. so of course i started dancing while i walked and it was fun!

now i'm just ready to go back to school and make her cry some more! i love being a bitch to stupid people!

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 04:41:18 GMT

so yesterday was an incredibly shitty day and i never want to go back to that day... well many shitty things happened but i think i got closer to him because of those things that happened, even if he thinks its his fault and i dont think it is his fault.

today was much better, he started being very touchy in front of people(not molesting me, like putting his arm around my waist and stuff like that) which he's never done before at school. then he picked me up in front of his friend multiple times after school and kept trying to tickle me which is not very nice because i'm sure i hit some innocent people while trying to squirm out of his reach. but it just made me forget about how horrible yesterday was with the way he was treating me today

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 09:27:14 GMT

So he was incredibly adorable today. We were leaving Baja Fresh and he changed the language on my phone AGAIN so I'm trying to change it back to english and I'm texting Kirsten at the same time and we're just kind of standing on the sidewalk and he's trying to take my phone again but he's holding me from behind and pulling me closer to him and he kept doing that while we were in Baja Fresh which was also cute. And then we end up in some random part of downtown and he starts singing We Are the Champions which was hilarious and then we end up at Las Lomas and he goes "ok I'm going to teach you how to skate right now" and there's this hill thing and he brings me to the top of that (against my will) and is trying to get me to go down it and me being the incredibly stubborn person I am win and end up back on level ground. so he has to hold onto my waist otherwise I'll fall because I am that cool and could not stand on a skateboard without falling. Then I manage to actually be able to skate without him being near me but it'd be cute because whenever he'd tell me to go somewhere he'd go and clear all the rocks away because he wouldn't want me to fall. And I tell him "you know I'm going to have to fall sooner or later right?" and he goes "yea I know but I don't want you to fall when you're learning the basics" Then we leave and end up back downtown but we're listening to music and when there aren't people around he's singing but I keep telling him to sing when there are people around but he doesn't want to. And then one time he actually does! After asking if I'll actually find it funny and me saying yes

It's just weird to think that if the school hadn't of changed their attendance systems then I would still be under Lovato and I wouldn't have been on his bus for senior picnic so I wouldn't have sat next to him and started talking to him, so I would have never been friends with him and then I never would have had him over that one day to study for government and then we wouldn't have ended up going out...

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 07:39:05 GMT

its so weird when someone knows you so well that they can tell when you're upset before even you can tell that you're upset

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 05:10:32 GMT

so it needs to be saturday because i want to find out what my lovely's surprise for me is! and stupid slutty girls need to stop trying with him because its just not going to work... GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!!!

also im still sad that all my pictures on my camera got deleted... thankfully i uploaded the matches pictures but the VIDEOS ARE GONE!!!! im going to go throw something at someone

About fucking time!!!

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 04:37:34 GMT

Took him long enough!!! But I'm so happy!!!

Bad timing with the whole bill being due tomorrow... but I don't give a damn!!!!

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 06:49:47 GMT

yay for fun friends and spending time in berkeley

boo to friends who still act the same way even after they were told they are assholes when they do that! and to the uncomfortableness that occurs after they hear how they are stupid

you act like a bitch to me dont be surprised when i return it without warning

boo to extremely fake people who just try to make you look bad to cover up how stupid they are

i dont want it to be the 19th yet i want it to be the end of this month... odd?

i wish they never found out because now we will never be the same and it doesnt seem like they have changed anything and i miss the way we used to be but im glad i got it off my chest

yay for new friends

boo to old friends being shitty

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 02:04:59 GMT

can someone just kill him for me??

i was getting so pissed off last night where i seriously wanted to just beat his face in or at the very least piss him off so he'd leave me alone fucking bastard

obviously anyone could see that he was pissing me off and i wanted nothing to do with him and that this is not the first time this has happened but people still dont think that he shouldnt come... wtf is wrong with them?!?

damn i hate a lot of things

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 06:22:15 GMT

I hate...

how loyal i can be where i will look at someone a different way just by a few words

unappreciative people. i spent a fucking lot of effort and time on that, show some thanks or give it back!!!

you. you know who you are (probably not actually)

how i let you piss me off so easily but yet i still stay

people who hurt my friends. i dont give a damn about your side of the story, you hurt them...fuck you

pathetic people who try so hard to make themselves seem better than everyone else. i see through you dumbfuck you can't fool me

being friends with a lot of those pathetic people. i see whats wrong with you, but i won't help someone who doesn't want it or deserve it

people who do not even try to hide the fact that they are judging me just by how i look

focusing so much on the little things where i obsess over them and let them build up

people who were once out of my life, but decided they were going to come back. i just got over you and was doing fine without you. LEAVE

feeling like i'm taking advantage of people

people who tell me i'm short (really? i didn't fucking notice!) and act like its something to be ashamed of (at least i don't really have to worry about being taller than a guy)

i love...

my friends.

kirsten. you are amazing and thank you for listening to me yell and bitch about stupid people

allison (canada). who knows if you'll see this but six years with most of those years being spent listening to my problems with the same people

you. odd how i can hate you yet love you at the same time. but those little things you say to me make it all better

concerts. you are very fun, do not ever leave me

pictures. so many good memories captured for me to always remember

creativity. such a simple easy thing to have, but you turn into so many great things

getting news so good that it turns your bad day around

people who do/say little things that in reality don't mean much but at that moment they are the sweetest thing in the world

hugs. they make the world go round, especially when they are given for no real reason

so apparently i hate more things than i love, but the things i love make up for the stupid things

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 06:46:45 GMT

i'm tired of you and have lost respect in you

stop your lies because you know they won't work on me

it's always sad when you grow tired of those you care about

note to self: stop doing so many things for your friends when in return they do nothing for you

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 06:41:15 GMT

so i just got back from being called by a kid who lives on my street (who i havent seen since warped tour) to come outside to watch the meteor shower and at first we thought he had the power to call the meteors but then we discovered no, he just called a bunch of planes. there was also a milk carton that was coming after us while we were laying in the middle of the street hoping no cars randomly appear on our street. and apparently one of the people on my street like to water their plants at 11: 30 at night... who knew?

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 15:00:28 GMT

so i shall be leaving soon to disneyland and i shall miss... some people not everyone because i dont like everyone. i shall try to get those i will miss a little something but i make no promises. i'll be back 25-26ish depends on if we decide to just go home on the 25th or go do something.. bye!!!

i am broken...

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:00:42 GMT

soooooooooo sore!! gahhh... but it was worth it! warped was lots of fun! even if i am now sunburned and my body is angry with me so it is dying. yay for the matches getting to play 10 extra minutes!!! they deserved it not any of the other bands! well maybe some other bands but they didnt get it so sucks for them! got there like an hour early before doors opened and there was already a long ass line and i was stuck by the trees in the cold then i was wishing for it later on when i was dying of heat! got to meet steven from fuse which was interesting how he had a poster of himself... whatever still fun.
saw amber pacific really early on

pepper at 1 than heard it while waiting in line for the matches signing, decided i am not going to wait in this long ass line when i can just find them later so caitlin and i left

saw spill canvas since caitlin wanted to, stayed at that stage and sat through a shitty band because the matches were on after them and i wanted to be at the barrier

matches were on and were lovely as always dont know how they play in multiple layers silly boys

saw the vandals! they were fun met them too afterwards which made me happy

sat down in seats for i am ghost and laughed at how they were cursing the sun because they like to be pale and now they are tan

walked around and ate and saw random people i know and attacked them and was attacked by them

watched pennywise and then watched random crappy bands while we waited for caitlins parents to come

caitlin creeped out shawn and justin by staring at them and making eye contact confirming she was staring

almost ran right into matt so i scared him with my shocked expression... oh well

stupid lead singer from escape the fate came and attacked shawn during sick little suicide and decided he'd sing too.... grrr then shawn fell into the crowd with his microphone and apparently there was a dog pile ...which who knew wouldnt be fun in the hot sun surrounded by tons of people?

for some reason trojans was there and giving out condoms to everyone and many of them ended up becoming condom balloons

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 07:37:43 GMT

people have no common sense at all.... got back from The Academy Is an hour ago and I have to wake up in 7 hours to go to Warped!!

but honestly who tries to change things just hours before something when it's already been planned out!?!

morons...

people just suck

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 07:10:07 GMT

yay for her being a bitch... odd how someone who used to piss me off all the time i'm starting to like more then her

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 06:40:35 GMT

there will be blood in a week...

my guess... hers

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 06:45:15 GMT

GAHHH!! I need to stop getting annoyed with her so easily but I can't help it!! Am i a horrible person??

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 06:16:30 GMT

Movies never show this side to people, where they feel like time and those close to them are slowly slipping away but all they can do is just stare out into the abyss... wow that sounded super emo, but i'm in a shitty mood and i sort of feel like that

i forgot about this until just now but i realized that a lot of people try to protect me, but all it is doing is slowly bringing me back to the way i used to act, which i refuse to go back to. yet when i was at bfd with my mom and she started to do things for me i just steped back and it was a bit harder for me to talk to the Matches which after the last concert shouldn't have been hard. i know that sounds stupid but if you don't notice the little things, they'll soon mutate into big things and it may be too late to change anything

and when they say ignorance is bliss, well its true once you think something good will come out of finding things out about someone all it does is bitch slap you and then kicks you in the shin. not fun

yay for BFD

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 08:20:17 GMT

so i just finished my stupid portfolio for english which everything i wrote was a load of crap but whatever i do not care. Yesterday was BFD and i had lots of fun!! My mom and i leave my house at about 9:50 am and we get to the Shoreline at about 11 which made me happy that we got there early because i was not going to miss the Matches because of being stuck in traffic!! Then we go wait in line for a fucking half an hour when on live 105 they said doors open at 10:30 AS WE WERE DRIVING THERE!! Filthy lying bastards.... Oh well it didnt affect me because we were right at the baricade!! It was in front of Jon though because stupid girls took all the space around Justin which made me sad because this was the first time i wasn't in front of him :( Then after their set, which was only 5 songs long but its okay because it was still awesome!! And the headlining bands only got 40 minutes and the Matches got 20 so i guess there is nothing I could really do about it, my mom and i shoved our way out so i could go say hello to the lovely Matches. Had to wait in a fucking line while they stood behind a table which was stupid because i am not used to that, i am used to people rushing the Matches and attacking Shawn and having to wait for like 15 minutes just to say hello before some stupid girl squeals OMG SHAWN YOU ARE HOT!! not that Shawn isn't handsome but i am not about to go make myself look like a retard for him. Ended up waiting 15 minutes to talk to Shawn anyway... Actually the first time i gave up and went to go talk to Justin when i saw he was all alone which pissed me off that here Shawn was surrounded by a mob of girls who just want to fuck him and probably don't even know many songs and there is the adorable Justin who is so sweet and nobody is there to talk to him!! Further proof why people suck at life and most of them should be killed...